What does that even mean? Anyway, I have been pretty freaking lazy about posting lately and I thought I should try and really get my mind to focus on making a post today. So here is a list of things I am guilty of doing (and I am trying to change):
- Biting my tongue: I don’t like confrontations – I get tongue tied and very sweaty around dominant people even in situations where I know I am right and or at least have the right to express my opinions. I just shut up, smile and nod. But the thing is the feeling of wanting to speak, the frustration at the person, at myself and at situation still linger on. Once every few weeks all over that pent up craziness just manifests into a defensive monster and I project it on to innocent bystanders (Aka mostly people I love dearly)
- Waiting around: I am not a grab the bull by the horns kinda gal y’know – and I really ought to be. I mean this is the time in my life when I need to cease opportunities and make connections and just generally do things but instead I choose to be a passive whine-y participant in my life.
- Felling sorry for myself: “but you don’t know what it’s like…” is my go to line when I am backed into a corner. I make excuses and I love to feel sorry for myself – and it’s just the most vicious of cycles.
They say acceptance is the first step, I have been anaylsing my weaknesses for awhile now – I need to start really making some changes in the way I go about my life.
Fingers crossed (maybe I will wake up and go for a run tomorrow -maybe)