Every time she wanted to buy something she would have to ask him. It didn’t matter if she was using her own money or whether what she bought was for her own use – she had to ask. If she wanted to eat something, she had to make sure that was alright with him. Tip of the iceberg.
So he never told her outright that she had to ask – that was never an agreement that they both made when they got into a relationship. In fact over the many years they have been together, he had never once told her that she had to have his okay. But for some reason, this was how they worked. She would want something and she would check with him before making the decision.
What happens when he says no, you ask? Good question. Then she would nod her head and say something along the lines of”yep, you know what you are so right, what do you think I should do instead baby?” and so the cogs of their relationship keeps ticking.
What happens if she goes ahead and does what she wants anyway? Well, he will bring it up in casual conversation- about how she whines a lot, how she is so fat and in general how she is a disappointing human being.
There are days when she wants to get away from this. This isn’t what life is about, she tells herself but then she doesn’t have the confidence to get up and step out of the door. She doesn’t believe in herself – she doesn’t think she is strong enough. Has he cut off her wings?
I hope she realises how amazing she is.