A few months (?) ago I wrote a post about how blood cancer has affected my life and how it has motivated me to take part in the world’s greatest shave. Since then my local paper published an article to help me raise funds (thanks Maribyrnong Leader!), I was able to raise $1000 thanks to my generous family and friends (donation still open, if you are interested), and on the 11th of March I rocked up to Federation Square, got on a stage and let the volunteers shave off my locks…
Not going to lie, there was a moment during the shave when I actually had tears in my eyes – I loved my long hair and a lot of my confidence came from wearing my long hair out and there I was letting someone just shave it all off. But now (four days after the fact), I love the new me and it feels liberating to just wear my face. So here I am #nofilter
More importantly, the events around Australia raised $10 million – that’s $10 million that will go towards those suffering from blood cancer and their families to aid treatment processes, that’s $10 million that will go to researchers who are in the process of finding a cure. It makes me hopeful, maybe not for my grandmother who’s cancer has worsened over the past month (she is being tested for TB at the moment) but there is hope for others and I think it’s important to be hopeful in this fight for a cure.
I am trying hard to stick to them, some are harder than others to be honest. I have had a few breakdowns recently and it has been hard to try and see the silver lining but I promise to keep fighting the good fight. But one thing that I have realised from my major vents to my friends is that we all go through shit periods where you feel like you are lost and it is important to start patting yourself in the back for the smallest of accomplishments regardless of how important they may seem in the grand scheme of things.
Which brings me back to a resolution that I made at the start of this year that I have sort of been able to actually start and keep up so far – my morning routine. Last year my morning routine consisted of waking up just in time for the train and frantically pulling my shit together before dashing out of the door and then binge on coffee and ham and cheese sandwiches to get me through my chaotic day. Now, its starting to take a different shape.
I have now started waking up at 7 am (I am slowing going to try and make this 6am so I can go for a morning yoga class – but small steps!). As soon as I wake up, I drink a glass of water and turn my phone off from airplane mode and read some news. Because I am now waking up earlier, I actually have time to make a breakfast smoothie (which is usually all the fruits I can find around the house, some linseeds and fiber supplements)and take time to decide on what I am going to wear (which for me was fairly a foreign concept to me and it also meant I used the other 3/4 of my wardrobe which I hadn’t even touched previously). I manage to do all this and get to work by 9am which means I don’t need to rush through the day and feel like I am constantly playing catch up. This small change for me has meant a lot, mostly because I have become a lot more productive and I have more control over how I spend my time (oh and I have started to really exploit the ical app which I highly recommend!)
Anyway, that is all for now. Before I finish off, i just wanted to share something I read in an article with all of you:
I know that it is disheartening to keep going when you’ve been stuck in the same situation for what feels like thousands of years, but you have to know that most of the time (not even sometimes) the only way way out is through.
I am super excited because I finally finally completed one of my online courses!!
I have been enrolling and un-enrolling in these online courses through edX and Coursera for the longest time but I have never been able to sit down and go through the lectures and assessments- because let’s be honest life happens and free online courses take a back seat.
But this year, I wanted to try and develop a little bit of discipline and I wanted to try and work on my skill development – and I proved to myself that with a little bit of internal pushing I can in fact do it!
So I have been devoting my Sundays and Mondays (because I don’t work on Mondays) to spending some me time. Last year, this meant sleeping in till 1pm and watching tv all day or walking into the city to window shop. But this year I made the effort to get my lazy ass up out of bed and into the library bright and early in the morning and focus on doing more productive work. AND IT WORKED!
I realise blogging about this may seem quite silly but I think personally it is important to celebrate even the smallest of wins in life 😀
Anyway, I have another course starting tomorrow and I am pumped to keep this momentum going 😀
My resolutions for the year – I know I am a little late to the party but I wanted to spend a little bit of time thinking about what I wanted to achieve this year and more importantly how I will spend my time. Last year was a good start but I feel like I was a little too ambitious and didn’t consider all the things that I had going on and i started becoming really overwhelmed, so lesson learned!
Also, I want to write out my resolutions not because they are new and profound goals but because I feel like having them written down will make me a lot more accountable and I will be a lot more inclined to follow through on them.
See the silver lining: I try my best to always see the good in people and be happy with any sort of citrus fruits life hands me but towards the end of last year I was getting really angry with everything and everyone. That kind of attitude made it harder for me to be happy about situations and I became a whiny, complain-y, let’s have a bleak attitude towards life kind of person – and really this just negatively affects me and no one else so what is the point! This year I want to refocus myself and think of what I have learned and gained from the situation regardless of how bad it may be. I am not going to let everything affect me and if it starts bothering me I am going to make the conscious effort to remove myself from the situation or relationship as kindly and respectfully as I can.
See a doctor: To be honest I have been pretty unhealthy the past few weeks and I have promised myself that February onwards I am going to be off of ‘holiday mode’ and get back to paying attention to my body. I need to stop avoiding doctors and go and figure out what is wrong with me (I am currently suffering from insomnia, back pains and digestion issues) and stop cheating and start treating my body like the temple that it is. More yoga and chia seeds and less booze and steak! OH AND MORE WATER!
Be kind: I want to spend more time volunteering and doing things that will help make someone else happier. We get so focused on making our own lives better and we keep telling ourselves that once we are ‘settled’ we will do more for the world and I just don’t want to keep putting it off anymore. There is so much more to life than just working and money and a white picket fence and the world needs more people who have open arms and hearts.
So there you go, my three resolutions for the year to heal my mind, body and soul. I hope all of you who have made your resolutions are able to keep track 🙂
You know those people who seem to have nothing nice to say about anything or anyone, every? The more I hang around them the more I find myself sinking into this negative pit of unhappiness where I am angry at everyone and irritable for no reason. When I was a teacher I used to always tell my kids, ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it’. I think I need to practice what I used to preach and stop transforming into a judgmental and angry monster and if that means I need to disassociate myself from certain people, that is just what I need to do. WOOOSHHAAAA
Keeping my mouth shut so that I can avoid conflict.
Although my husband might disagree (hah) I don’t like arguing – I get really emotionally worked up and I can’t shake it off for days. So what do I do? Whether it is a decision that we have to make about one of our projects at work or it’s how I feel about a situation with one of my friends; I try to smile through it and tell myself it’s going to be okay and I can work it out. I know that is not okay. I need to tell my colleagues when they are talking about projects that I don’t believe are feasible (after all, I am the person who is in-charge of the finances), I should be able to tell people when they are coming off too strong that they need to consider other people’s point of view, I should be able to tell my friends if I feel uncomfortable with their plans. I should.
Staring at my phone.
I am obsessed. I am the girl who wakes up rolls over and grabs her phone to check messages/facebook/instagram etc. I am the girl who, in the middle of conversations with other people, will zone out and start checking my phone. I pack a book in my bag to read on the train but instead I flick through the same Facebook newsfeed over and over again. Obsessed. I need to stop. I need to stop making excuses for checking my phone as well – ‘but what if it’s someone from work?’ or ‘but we are on different time zones I HAVE TO talk to them now’ or ‘but look at this cute puppy!’. I need to relax my mind and concentrate on being a lot more wholesome in my approach to life.
Let’s go to yoga, you ask? But I am going to get my period in four days so it’s probably better if I start yoga once I finish my period.
Stop watching *insertbadtvshowname* back to back and read a book? But if I finish the entire show now then I want be distracted by it later and I then I can concentrate on the book.
You don’t need to buy two bars of chocolate for the day? But I am going to get my period (YES I use my period as an excuse ALL the time!)
There is a a billion other things that I need to stop doing but this is a start – hopefully writing it down means that I am ready to kick into good habits mode (unless I get my period that is). Fingers crossed!